In December of 2018, if all goes as planned, I will have earned my MFA in Creative Writing. I’m excited about it. I’ll have finished something I didn’t know I wanted until God lead me to it. It’s hard work, but I know it’s worth the effort.
The truth is, I’ve never felt this tired or worried or more unsure in my life. The emotions associated with being overwhelmed are hard to manage. I was thinking about ways to cope when I came across this scripture:
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17).
Most mornings I log into Instagram and Twitter. I like to check up on the people I admire. When I do, I find that Roxane Gay’s been up all night writing or reading. Ava Duvernay has posted pics on a set during the wee hours of the morning. Shonda Rhimes has posted something about one of her many projects (projects that she’s running simultaneously!). These women are always working or traveling or preparing and they never seem to rest.
Now let’s go back to the scripture. It said that there is both a weight of glory and a light affliction. Does that mean that if I compare the weights of my affliction and glory, the affliction will prove to weigh less? Does that mean that my glory will be heavier to carry?
I feel like I am failing at keeping up with my responsibilities. I realize that my failure is due to my tendency towards procrastination and my deep desire to rest. But I have to give up both of those things and now. I have a good reason. I need to build up my muscles. If I can’t carry the weight of the affliction, I surely won’t be able to handle the glory.